Let It Go

As I'm sitting here tonight, finally looking at my Brush Dance Karma Planner (my weekly planner, and the BEST planner at that!), I'm realizing how much life can change in a day.

When living with anxiety, my anxiety, I like to have things planned out and written down. I like to see what I have in the month to come and generally within the next few months to come. Not only by the cause of anxiety but because I have 7 kids who's busy and diverse schedules I also need to plan, see and map out. Between sports like football, gymnastics, dance, games, performances, then tutoring, doctor and dentist appointments, work and picking up work shifts I have to make sure and visually see that nothing overlaps. WHY??? I am generally the only person available to navigate the craziness and I'm usually the one who needs to get everyone to where they need to be and on time.

As I mentioned in my previous post, I had the biggest panic attack leading to forcing myself to take some time off of work because I've felt "off" since that happened. I sat here tonight, crossing off my work schedule and adding therapy to my already chaotic schedule. It almost triggered me into more anxiety, I don't like when things change. I like to be on top of life, I like to feel like I have control. The truth is, right now, I don't.

What do you do when you lose control? When things don't go as YOU planned? How do you take your life back? In the past two weeks, I've really just had to learn to let it go. I can't control what is going on in my mind and my body at the moment but I do know, deep in my soul that I need time to work through whatever this is that I'm going through. I feel my body screaming for a reset. I am driven toward finding a new routine that benefits all areas of my life. I've been asking the universe for an upgrade for a while now, I think it's finally giving me what I want but telling me that I also need to put in the work. I can't be hyper focused on working 5, 12 hour shifts a week for the money while neglecting my eating habits, my well being, my family and every other area that I want to upgrade in my life. It's time to step back.

What are you asking the universe for? Are you putting in the correct work to get to where you want to be?

Life can change so much in one day, with one situation. Are you going to be okay when that happens?

Check out the new 2024 BrushDance Karma Planner. It is honestly one of the best for visual people! I love to write things down and this gives so much space to do so. Weekly motivational messages to keep you focused as well! https://amzn.to/3PEK8mM